Season 1 (1972 - 1973) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, Loretta Swit 1. M*A*S*H -- The Pilot Episode Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Gene Reynolds The Swamp's Korean houseboy, Ho John, is accepted to attend school at Hawkeye's alma mater. The camp raises $2000 to send Ho John to Maine by raffling a weekend in Tokyo with a nurse, much to the chagrin of Hot Lips and Burns. The winner? Father Mulcahy! 2. Henry, Please Come Home Written by Laurence Marks Directed by William Wiard Due to the great success rate of the 4077th, Henry is transferred to administrative duty in Tokyo. Hawkeye and Trapper convince Radar to fake an illness to get Henry to return. 3. To Market, To Market Written by Burt Styler Directed by Michael O'Herlihy After the 4077th supply of hydrocortisone is hijacked by black marketeers, Hawkeye and Trapper concoct a deal with a local black marketeer (Jack Soo) to get some more. The catch: Henry's antique oak desk, which is whisked away by chopper as Henry watches in disbelief. 4. Germ Warfare Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Terry Becker Hawkeye plays Dracula when he steals a pint of Frank's blood. When he suspects Frank of hepatitis, he works frantically (with Radar and Trapper) to keep him away from everyone, including Hot Lips. 5. The Moose Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Hawkeye ends up winning a Korean girl as servant from the sergeant who purchased her. The girl, unfortunately, has a hard time understanding Hawkeye when he attempts to set her free. 6. I Hate a Mystery Written by Hal Dressner Directed by Hy Averback Hawkeye plays detective when he becomes the chief suspect in a stealing epidemic. His sleuthful work leads him to the guilty party, none other than Ho John (who still hasn't left for Maine). 7. Chief Surgeon Who? Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by E. W. Swackhamer Frank and Hot Lips fume when Hawkeye is named chief surgeon over Frank. They call up a general (Sorell Booke) who arrives in camp only to encounter Klinger (his first appearance of the series), declares the camp nuts and Hawkeye a genius. 8. Requiem for a Lightweight Written by Bob Klane Directed by Hy Averback Trapper enters the intercamp boxing tournament to save a beautiful nurse (Marcia Strassman) from being transferred out by Henry, at Hot Lips' request. 9. Cowboy Written by Bob Klane Directed by Don Weis Henry refuses to let a chopper pilot go home, and the pilot feels there is no alternative but to kill Henry. 10. Yankee Doodle Doctor Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Lee Philips The camp makes a film in response to one made about the 4077th at the request of a brigadier general. Guest appearance by Ed Flanders. 11. Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts (After Me, the Deluge) Written by Burt Styler Directed by Bruce Bilson After being denied R&R, Hawkeye fakes insanity, causing many problems for the psychiatrist (Stuart Margolin) sent to study him. 12. Edwina Written by Hal Dresner Directed by James Sheldon The nurses go to extremes to find a date of Nurse Eddie (Edwina)--they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals. :) 13. Dear Dad Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Gene Reynolds Hawkeye writes his dad, describing the antics of the 4077th--including Mulcahy convincing Klinger not to kill himself. For the finale, Hawkeye goes to the front dressed as Santa to help save a wounded soldier. 14. Love Story Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Earl Bellamy Radar gets a "Dear John" letter. To help cheer him up, Hawkeye and Trapper try to help him with a new nurse who's into classical literature and music. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him a friend in the nurse. 15. Tuttle Written by Bruce Shelly and David Ketchum Directed by William Wiard Hawkeye and Trapper, with Radar's help, invent a fictitious Capt. Tuttle so that his salary can be donated to help a local orphanage. Almost caught by James B. Sikking of Hill St. and Doogie Howser fame, Hawkeye must sorrowfully tell the camp of Tuttle's fate to the whole camp--he leaped from a chopper without a parachute. 16. The Ringbanger Written by Jerry Mayer Directed by Jackie Cooper A colonel (Leslie Nielsen) with a high casualty record in the object of the attention of Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar, who conspire send him home before he gets anyone else killed. 17. Dear Dad...Again Written by Sheldon Keller and Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper Hawkeye tells his dad of the cooling romance between Frank and Hot Lips and Radar's correspondance corse. 18. Sometimes You Hear the Bullet Written by Carl Kleinschmitt Directed by William Wiard Hawkeye is confronted with death when he is unable to save an old journalist friend (James Callahan) who is killed on the front. The death spurs Hawkeye to send an underaged soldier (Ron Howard) home. Meanwhile, Frank throws out his back and applies for a Purple Heart. 19. The Longjohn Flap Written by Alan Alda Direct by William Wiard Hawkeye gets a pair of longjohns from home. Feeling sorry for Trapper, who has a cold, he gives him the longjohns, which pass into the hands of most of the camp before getting back in Hawkeye's hands. 20. Major Fred C. Dobbs Written by Sid Dorfman Directed by Don Weis A silly episode where Frank, who threatens transfer, is convinced to stay when hears Hawkeye and Trapper say they discovered gold. The joke's on Frank when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep! 21. Sticky Wicket Written by Laurence Marks and Larry Gelbart Directed by Don Weis Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's ability as a surgeon. Then one of Hawkeye's patients starts failing, Hawkeye starts reflecting about his own abilities. 22. The Army-Navy Game Written by Sid Dorfman Directed by Gene Reynolds The camp tunes-in to the Army-Navy football game, only to get bombed and left with an unexploded shell in the compound. When they try to defuse the CIA bomb,it explodes--with American propaganda leaflets. 23. Ceasefire Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Earl Bellamy The camp receives word that there's a ceasefire and erupts into celebration, only to have their hopes shattered when wounded arrive. 24. Showtime Written by Robert Klane and Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper An entertainer performs for the camp in the compound. 25. Divided We Stand Gen. Clayton assigns a psychiatrist Capt. Hildebrand (Anthony Holland) to examine the 4077th. Henry tells them to be on their best behavior, or else they will be split up. But the 4077th soon begins to act in their traditional, inane ways. Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper 26. Radar's Report Klinger's girl back home wants to marry, Hawkeye flirts with a nurse (Joan Van Ark), and all the goings on are reported to the Army in Radar's weekly report. Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Jackie Cooper 27. 5 O'Clock Charlie An inept N. Korean pilot's bombings of (near) the camp become a spectator sport. Frank complains that the pilot should be shot down, but it isn't until Gen. Clayton's jeep is bombed until any action is taken. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Norman Tokar 28. For the Good of the Outfit The accidental shelling of the S. Korean village of Tai Dong gets Hawkeye and Trapper's attention. While the Army accepts no responsibility, they do plan to rebuild the village, with its own soft ice cream maker! Written by Jerry Mayer Directed by Jackie Cooper 29. Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde Hawkeye is on duty for 3 days straight, and decides to send the 4077th's latrine to N. Korea. Written by Alan Alda and Robert Klane Directed by Jackie Cooper 30. L.I.P. (Local Indigenous Personnel) Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar blackmail a lt. with a few pranks to allow Cpl. Walker to marry a local Korean girl. Written by Carl Kleinschmitt Directed by William Wiard 31. Kim Trapper becomes very attached to an apparently orphaned little Korean boy named Kim, and wants to adopt him--that is, if he doesn't get blown to bits in the minefield. Written by Marc Mandel, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks Directed by William Wiard 32. The Trial of Henry Blake Houlihan and Burns challenge Col. Blake's fitness to command, and it is up to Nurse Meg Cratty to come to the rescue. Written by McLean Stevenson, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis 33. Dear Dad...Three A bigoted sergeant seeking the right-"colored" blood learns a lesson in prejudice from the 4077th. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis 34. The Sniper A lone sniper has the 4077th pinned down--including Radar and Henry in the shower. The poor boy thinks he's firing on McArthur's headquarters, and a chopper finally comes by and wounds him with gunfire from above, ending the seige. Written by Richard M. Powell Directed by Jackie Cooper 35. Carry On, Hawkeye Hawkeye is the only doctor not struck down by the flu bug. Houlihan must inject him in the ass with a flu shot! Written by Bernard Dilbert, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks Directed by Jackie Cooper 36. The Incubator Hawkeye and Trapper battle the Army in their efforts to get a badly needed incubator for the 4077th. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Jackie Cooper 37. Deal Me Out The weekly poker game is interrupted when Radar hits the infamous Whiplash Wang with a jeep. Pat Morita guests as one of the poker players. A wounded soldier (John Ritter) getting counseling from Sidney Freedman (Alan Arbus) wants to kill Frank. Col. Flagg (Edward Winter) also pops in. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Gene Reynolds 38. Hot Lips and Empty Arms Maj. Houlihan decides to dump Frank and requests a transfer. Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place Directed by Jackie Cooper 39. Officers Only Hawkeye and Trapper save Gen. Mitchell's son, and they get an officer's club as a reward--well, sort of an officer's club. Written by Ed Jurist Directed by Jackie Cooper 40. The Chosan People The local Koreans provide interesting scenarios for the 4077th. Written by Laurence Marks, Sheldon Keller, and Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper 41. As You Were The 4077th has no wounded for several days, until they start pouring in again. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback 42. Crisis Supply lines to the 4077th are cut. Consequently, the personnel must find ways to deal with the shortages. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis 43. Henry in Love Henry falls in love with Nancy Sue Parker, a former cheerleader from the Ohio State University :) while in Tokyo. Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar try to prevent Henry from letting his marriage go up in smoke over her. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis 44. For Want of a Boot A riotous episode in which Hawkeye will do anything to get a new pair of boots. In order to get Zale to get him some, he must get an appointment for Zale with Futterman, the camp dentist, who will only do it if Henry will give him a pass to Tokyo, and Henry will only grant the pass if Houlihan will get off his back, which she will do only if the guys throw a party for Frank's birthday with a cake, and Radar will only help get the cake if he gets a date with Nurse Murphy, who will only date someone with a hair dryer, and Klinger won't give up the hair dryer unless he gets a section 8 (and Frank won't sign). The deal falls through, much to the chagrin of Hawkeye. Written by Sheldon Keller Directed by Don Weis 45. Operation Noselift Hawkeye and Trapper arrange for an unauthorized nosejob for an unlisted man with a huge schnozz (Mulcahy concurs). But Hawkeye's cohort who agrees to do the job has other interests, mainly bagging a nurse. Written by Erik Tarloff Directed by Hy Averback 46. George In an episode that would fit the headlines in 1993, Burns tries to slap a dishonorable discharge on a decorated soldier who admits to being a homosexual. Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz Directed by Gene Reynolds 47. Mail Call The arrival of a new batch of mail makes Trapper depressed and he wants to desert, despite Hawkeye's efforts otherwise. Meanwhile, Hawkeye learns he has successfully tricked Frank into buying stocks in the fictitious company, Pioneer Aviation. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Alan Alda 48. A Smattering of Intelligence A classic episode in which Col. Flagg and another secret agent from another intelligence agency come to the 4077th to keep their eyes on one another and the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper trick them both into thinking that Burns is a traitor--one thinks he's a facist, the other thinks he's a communist. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Larry Gelbart End of season two Season 3 (1974 - 1975) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, Loretta Swit 49. Rainbow Bridge Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Mako, Leland Sun, Bobbie Mitchell, Loudon Wainwright III As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees to send Hawk, Trap, Burns, Radar, and Klinger into enemy territory. Burns almost botches the swap when he brings a squirt gun to the exchange. Fortunately, the Chinese Dr. Lin Tam has a sense of humor (he went to U. of Illinois, after all). 50. Life With Father Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Bill Christopher, Sachiko Penny Lee Mail from home worries Henry that Lorraine may be seeing other men. Father Mulcahy presides over a Jewish circumcision ceremony for the Korean-born son of a US GI. 51. Springtime Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place Directed by Don Weis Guests: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Alex Karras, Mary Kay Place, Greg Mabrey, Kelleye Nakahara, Gwen Farrell, Pat Stevens, Roy Goldman, Jeff Maxwell When spring arrives, Klinger gets word from home that his sweethart back in Toledo wants to marry him. Father Mulcahy (with help from Radar) arranges to do this over short wave radio (?). Radar falls in love with a nurse, while a grateful patient won't leave Hawkeye alone--even threatens Maj. Burns. 52. Iron Guts Kelly Written by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman Directed by Don Weis Guests: James Gregory, Keen Curtis, Bobbie Mitchell, Byron Chung, Alberto Jay, Jeff Maxwell, Dennis Troy General Iron Guts Kelly dies inconviently in Houlihan's tent (perhaps the excitement was too much?!), so his aide sets out to make it appear as if the general has died gloriously in battle. 53. Payday Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Jack Soo, Eldo Quick, Johnny Haymer, Mary Katherine Peters, Bobbie Mitchell, Jeff Maxwell, Leland Sun, George Holloway, George Simmons, Pat Marshall Payday arrives, bringing lots of $$ for Hawkeye (for claiming he wasn't getting what he should because of the war). Burns buys his wife a pearl necklace, and gives the fakes to Houlihan. Trapper finally wins a huge poker pot after stealing Hawk's watch, only to see the loot vanish to save Hawkeye's neck (since he gave his windfall to the orphanage). 54. O.R. Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Gene Reynolds Guests: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Allan Arbus, Odessa Cleveland, Bobbie Mitchell, Bobby Herbeck, Orlando Dole, Jeanne Schulherr, Roy Goldman, Leland Sun The OR is filled with more wounded than the unit can handle. Dr. Freedman drops in during the deluge as well. 55. Officer of the Day Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Edward Winter, Dennis Troy, Jeff Maxwell, Jerry Fujikawa, Tad Horino, Richard Lee Sung, Mitchell Sakamoto, Norman Hamano, Mary Katherine Peters, Tom Lawrence While Henry is away in Seoul, Burns and Houlihan are in charge, and Hawkeye is the officer of the day. His refusal to release a wounded Korean wanted by US Intelligence leads to a confrontation with Col. Flagg. 56. The General Flipped at Dawn Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Larry Gelbart Guests: Harry Morgan (!!!), Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Lynnette Metley, Theodore Wilson, Brad Trumbull, Dennis Erdman In a stunning performance that won him a role as Col. Potter, Harry Morgan guests as loony General Bartford Hamilton Steele. Even Klinger thinks Gen. Steele is nuts when he mistakes Klinger for his wife, Marjorie. Morgan won an Emmy for his performance in this episode. 57. There is Nothing Like a Nurse Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, Loudon Wainwright III, Bill Christopher, Bobbie Mitchell, Molli Benson, Jeanne Schulherr, Leland Sun The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits with them gone. 58. Private Charles Lamb Written by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Ted Eccles, Titos Vandis, Gene Chronopoulos A Greek feast at the camp is foiled when soft-hearted Radar saves the main course from the spit--a lamb, whom Radar tricks Henry into giving a medical discharge and sends home to Ottumwa. Thus, Hawkeye and Trapper invent the famed Spam Lamb! 59. A Full Rich Day Written by John D. Hess Directed by Gene Reynolds Guests: Jamie Farr, William Watson, Sirri Murad, Curt Lowens, Michael Keller, Kelleye Nakahara Hawkeye records a letter to his dad, detailing the exploits of a mad Turkish soldier who calls Hawkeye a "damn good Joe," the unfortunate loss of the corpse of a Luxembourg soldier (who turns out not to be dead), and of a gun-happy officer. 60. Check-Up Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guests: Jamie Farr, Patricia Stevens, Jeff Maxwell Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation which forces him to stay. 61. Big Mac Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guests: Jamie Farr, Graham Jarvis, Loudon Wainwright III, Bob Courtleigh, Jeanne Schulherr The camp prepares for a visit from General MacArthur. Klinger dresses as the Statue of Liberty as the General's jeep drives through the camp. Mac Arthur is so impressed, he salutes! 62. Alcoholics Unanimous Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, Bobbie Mitchell, William Christopher Henry's departure to Tokyo leaves Maj. Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp (especially from Hawkeye and Trapper). 63. House Arrest Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Mary Wickes, Bobbie Mitchell, Jeff Maxwell, Dennis Troy, Kelleye Nakahara Hawkeye hits Maj. Burns and Houlihan is a witness, despite Hawkeye and Trapper's claims that it wasn't intentional. A female colonel is sent to investigate Burns' allegations. When she cries "Rape!" when Burns visits her tent, Houlihan recants her story, and Burns, not Hawkeye, ends up under house arrest. 64. Adam's Rib Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Gene Reynolds Guests: Basil Hoffman, Joe Stern, Jeff Maxwell A riotous episode! Hawkeye, driven near insanity, starts a riot in the mess tent after several weeks of "a river of liver and an ocean of fish." To spice up their diets, Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar scheme to get spare ribs sent to the 4077th from Chicago. The ribs arrive, just in time for the arrival of wounded. 65. Mad Dogs and Servicemen Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Michael O'Keefe, Shizuko Hoshi, Arthur Song, Jeff Maxwell, Bobbie Mitchell Radar is bitten by a local dog, and the camp conducts a search to find the pooch so that Radar doesn't have to undergo a series of painful rabies vaccinations. Hawkeye defies Frank to take care of a GI who's suffering from a case of hysterical paralysis. 66. The Consultant Written by Larry Gelbart and Robert Klane Directed by Gene Reynolds Guests: William Christopher, Robert Alda, Joseph Maher, Tad Horino Dr. Borelli visits to demonstrate his artery transplant technique. Unfortunately, being so close to the front at the 4077th causes Borelli's drinking problem to interfere at the worst time--when a patient needs the transplant. 67. White Gold Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Edward Winter, Hilly Hicks, Stafford Repp, Michael A. Salcido, Danil Thorpe Colonel Flagg blows into camp trying to obtain penicillin to barter for information. But Flagg comes down with appendicitis, and the only penicillin he gets is in the keister. 68. Bombed Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Hy Averback Guests: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Louisa Moritz, Edward Marshall The camp is under fire and is swamped with wounded. Maj. Burns is driven with jealousy of Trapper into proposing to Houlihan. 69. Love and Marriage Written by Arthur Julian Directed by Lee Philips Guests: Soon-Tek Oh, Johnny Haymer, Dennis Dugan, Jerry Fujikawa, Pat Li, Bob Gruber, Jeanne Joe, William Christopher Hawkeye and Trapper prevent one GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, while trying to set up another Korean soldier join his pregnant wife (with Radar's help of course). 70. Aid Station Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by William Jurgensen Guests: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Tom Dever Hawkeye, Houlihan, and Klinger go to an aid station at the front. Working closely together under heavy fire and unsanitary medical conditions, the three return to camp with new found respect for one another. 71. Bulletin Board Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Alan Alda Guests: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Johnny Haymer, Patricia Stevens, Kelleye Nakahara Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture (while Hawkeye and Trapper heckle), a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout. 72. Abyssinia, Henry Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Larry Gelbart Guests: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Kimiko Hiroshige, Virginia Lee, Cherylene Lee, Ray Poss A classic! Henry finally gets his discharge. While Henry is tying things up, Burns prepares for his new command. Henry bids a tearful adieu, but not before Klinger turns up in an outrageous tropical outfit (and gets Henry to zip him up) and a kiss to Houlihan. He gives Radar a hug and his last order: "You better be good now or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt!" In the traumatic and shocking last scene, Radar announces that Henry has been killed when his plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. M*A*S*H TRIVIA QUIZ 96 QUESTIONS ABOUT M*A*S*H 1 What was the first question on the West Point exam that Klinger took ? 2 What excuse did Henry use on the general for the reason Klinger was dressed up as a pregnant lady ? 3 What pilot got named chopper pilot of the year for carrying 434 wounded ? 4 What was the name of the doctor in the Mash movie that was not in the series ? 5 What song was playing when Frank was exposed to the camp while on the shitter? 6 What's the name of BJ's babysitter back home? 7 Which MASH regulars were promoted? 8 Where was Radar promoted to Corporal Captain at. (Place and city) and why was he there? 9 What was the name of the Black surgeon who shared quarters in the Swamp in early episodes of MASH and what was his real name from the movie 10 What kind of a doctor was he? 11 What was the VERY FIRST THING that BJ said to Frank? 12 Who was the P.A. announcer in the TV series? 13 What was Cpt. Pierces' imaginariy friends name ? 14 Who banged Maj. Margret Hulahan besides Frank Burns In the original Movie ? 15 What did Pierce put in the gin still to make Frank B. think they were lemon sqaushes ? 16 In the final episode what did B.J. get from a group Chineese giverupers? 17 What color did B.J. paint the cycle that he got in the final episode? 18 What is the name of the episode that Pierce almost gets taken away by A psychologist for acting crazy ? ( eats the liver from the north Korean 19 In the episode called "operation nose lift" what does "Baracuda" mean ? 20 When Pierce won a jeep in a poker game from a supply seargent, what did he get in place of it ? 21 What did Pierce do with the firing pin from the howitzer? 22 In the episode where Margret disapers, where is she really? 23 In the same episode, Who was the only person who knew her where abouts, but was asleep? 24 When Pierce sent radar to Seoul to get layed what happened to Radar? 25 In the episode ping pong, how many points does Radar spot Potter ? 26 What do Pierce and B.J. get in trade for their bath tub? 27 In the final episode who leaves first but then comes back? 28 In the original movie who is the big chest cutter (specialist) they bring in ? 29 In the episode end run what is the football player's name from Iowa that looses his leg ? What position did he play ? 30 Who accidently threw away Margrets wedding ring? 31 Why do Pierce and BJ get ice cream in trade for their bath tub? 32 Who took Radars tonsels out? 33 Who got to take the most baths in the bath tube episode? 34 In the bath tub episode what was Klinger's scam to get out of the army and how did it end up? 35 How did Klinger say he was sorry for jumping in the bath tubb with Margret ? And what did he ask her ? 36 How many seasons did the MASH episodes run for? 37 Why did Wayne Rogers (Trapper John) leave the series? 38 When Frank Burns declares alchohal not allowed on base, what three people disobey his order ? 39 One episode were they have to bug out and they have a wounded soldier with a back injury that can not be moved, who stays behind with the patient ? 40 In the episode were someone is trying to kill Henry Blake. Who is this person ? 41 What is the name of the nurse who get s Henry Blake brought up on treason charges ( lending aid and comfort to the enemy ) 42 How does Henry prove these charges false ? 43 What do Pierce and Klinger blow up with prima cord ? 44 What gets written on the tounge depressors as they are glued to the tower ? 45 What does M*A*S*H stand for ? 46 What does B.J. say the intials B.J. stands for? 47 What is the title to the Mash theme ? 48 What character in the series said " stink fish pot " 49 When Radar races his mouse against the Marines' mouse, why is it that he wins? 50 What is the name of the spare rib restaurant in Chicago that Pierce orders ribs from? 51 What does Pierce forget to order along with the ribs? 52 In the poker game were Charles is playing, What does the gang figure out Charles does when he is bluffing? 53 In the final episopde who drives the tank off the compound into the garbage pile to stop the shelling ? 54 In the final episode how does Potter leave the camp at the end ? 55 In the original movie, what charecter thinks he is a homosexual ? 56 In what type of vehicle does Charles leave the camp in the final episode ? 57 Who said " If my dog had a face like yours I would shave its but and teach him to walk backwards " 58 How does Cpt. Pierce obtian a moose ( Yung He ) from a Sgt.that is just passing through ? 59 In the original movie what is the nickname they call the dentist ? 60 Who said " Someone came in here and comitted a cleanness " ? 61 In the episode " mad dogs and servicemen" who do they think gets bitten by a dog with rabies ? 62 In the episode " the bus " Who were the characters on the bus ? 63 In the same episode,when the bus breaks down, who fixes it ? 64 Who said " Kick Burns in the shins and give him a headache. " ? 65 When the Mash group puts a time capsule in the ground, what does Charles put in ? 66 When Klinger buys a goat from a peddler, What does the goat eat That gets Pierce in trouble ? 67 Name the col. that wanted to court marshal Pierce, BJ, Charles and Margret. 68 There were three times that radar was in the hospital, what were the causes for them ? 69 Name The officer that claimed to be Christ. 70 Whats the name of the general that flipped at dawn ? 71 Who played general Steel ? 72 Who said " It makes me no never mind ! "? 73 IN what episode did Shelly Long appear ? 74 What Instrumentdid Charles play that BJ and Pierce did not like ? 75 How did they get rid of the french horn ? 76 When Klinger wants to re-enlist, what oath does Col. Potter have him take ? 77 Why is it that Klinger wants to re-enlist after all he has done to try and get out ? 78 In the episode where Trapper wants to adopt a little Korean boy who's parents could not be found, What was the boys name, and why was Trapper unable to adopt him ? 79 In the same episode, Who let the little boy wonder off into a mind field ? 80 What is Pioneer aviation ? 81 What was the name of the man who claimed to be a surgeon and really was not ? What was his real name, and his assumed name ? 82 Why do Pierce and BJ order sausage cassings from Tony Pacos in Toledo ? 83 When Klinger recieved the 500 empty sausage cassings, what did He say would go great with them ? 84 When Charles found an infant ( of mixed race ) outside the swamp, what was their final solution for finding the child a home ? 85 When Radar was trying to get his highschool diploma through the mail, what was the name of of the org. he was getting it from ? 86 What was the name of the psychologist that was sent by General Clayton to see if the 4077 should be split up ? 87 When Maj. Burns saw a Korean digging in a near by field, what did he discover when he dug it up ? 88 Name at least three cities that are on the sign post ! 89 What is the name of the General that wanted Pierce as his personal doctor ? 90 What was the name of the Corpral that left Radar to take care of his girl and child ? What was the girls name ? 91 Where was this Corpral from ? 92 Radar had a mouse that raced against some Marines mouse, What was the name of Radars mouse and the Marines mouse ? 93 When Maj. Magret Hulahan got married, who was the best man ? 94 What part did Gen. Kesner play in M*A*S*H ? 95 How did Winchester get assigned to the 4077 ? 96 Who got a perfect score on the foot inspection ? 96 ANSWERS ABOUT M*A*S*H 1 Mary's mother asked Mary to go to the store and buy 9 apples. Mary can only carry 2 apples at a time. How many trips to the store does Mary have to make? 2 He's in the big show Saturday night. 3 Dangerous Dan !!!! 4 Duke Forester 5 Stars and Stripes Forever 6 Norma Jean. (18? 16. Ooh) 7 Radar was promoted to 2nd Lt. (won in poker game by BJ & Hawkeye, Radar gives it back shortly after), Klinger promoted to Sergeant Father Mulcahy promoted to Captian Frank was promoted to Lt. Colonel when he was Stateside after he left the series. Also Radar's "promotion" to Corporal-Captain. 8 Officer's Club, Kimpo Air Base, Seoul. 9 Spearchucker. Dr. Oliver Wendell Jones. 10 Neurosurgeon. 11 Hi Ferret Face. 12 The wounded soldier who gave Klinger a matchbook from "TheTreanage" 13 Tuttle 14 Duke Forest 15 A lemon cough drop. 16 A motorcycle 17 Yellow 18 Bananas, crackers and nuts 19 A nurse 20 A Howitzer 21 He threw it into the cess pool. 22 Delivering a baby in a near by village. 23 Klinger 24 He got wounded on the way 25 18 26 Two cases of 12 year old scotch and two quarts of strawberry ice cream. 27 B.J. 28 Trapper John 29 Billy Tyler, Running back 30 Klinger 31 Because radar got his tonsels taken out. 32 Colonel Potter 33 Charles Emerson Winchester III 34 He was going to melt himself (heat stroke) He ended up wripping off his clothes and jumping in the bath tubb with Margret. 35 He brought her a bowl of Radar's ice cream and then he ask her what she was doing Saturday night? 36 11 37 Contract problems 38 Pierce, Trapper and Margret 39 Pierce, Margret and Radar 40 Cowboy, the chopper pilot 41 Nurse Kraty 42 Pierce and Trapper bring nurse kraty to the trail and show that she did the aiding not Henry. 43 The tower Pierce builds with tounge depressors. 44 The names of the wounded who had passed through the 4077. 45 Mobile Army Surgical Hospital 46 Anything you want !OR Just about anything ! 47 Suicide is painless 48 Frank Burns 49 Charles Winchester gave radars mouse a small portoin of speed. 50 Adam's Ribs. 51 colslaw. 52 He whistles louder when he has nothing. 53 Cpt. Pierce 54 On Sophie, the horse 55 Painless pole 56 A garbage truck. 57 M.Q.Klinger 58 He wins her in a poker game. 59 Painless poll 60 Trapper John 61 Radar 62 Potter, B.J., Pierce, Radar, Burns. 63 A Chineese soldier that surrendered to them. 64 Potter 65 A bottle of boose 66 The Pay Roll 67 Col. Danial Webster Tucker 68 Tonsels,shoulder wound,rabies 69 Capt. Arnold Chandler 70 General steel 71 Sherman Potter-- Harry Morgan 72 Frank Burns 73 Bottle fatuige 74 The french Horn. 75 Ran it over with a jeep. 76 The Presidential oath 77 His X-wife is going to marry his best friend back in Toledo. 78 Kim, they found his mother 79 Frank Burns & Maj. Hulahan 80 A make believe company that Pierce made up to make Frank look like a fool... So Frank would try to buy stock in the company. 81 Sgt. Schwartz, Capt. Casey 82 They were trying to build a kidney machine. 83 500 empty beer cans. 84 A monistary 85 The triple A diplma company of Delivan Indiana 86 Capt. Hildabrand 87 cabbage or kimche 88 Indianaplis, Connie Island, San Fran, LA, Soule, Burbank 89 Gen. Ted Korsack 90 Corp. Muligan, Mai Ping 91 Bitter Creek, Wyoming 92 Daisy, Slugo 93 Frank Burns 94 He is the Gen. that Frank Burns jumped in to the bath with fully clothed. 95 He beat his comander at cribbage, and then Burns left and WINCHESTER GOT ASSIGNED THERE FOR EVER. 96 Col. Potter