What about Notre Dame...

I just started thinking, Whats so great about Notre Dame? Lets cruize the net and look at some college rankings. For comparision purposes, Ill use, oh I dont know..... how about the University of Wisconsin-Madison for comparision.

Wired Mag ranking of the most Wired Campusus Wisconsin - #39 ND - not in top 100

This is a measurement of the use of computing technology on campuses. Due to the size of Wisconsin, they are only ranked 39. Its hard to find the money to give all 40,000 students and 15,000 employees a computer. ND with a much smaller campus and enrollment, didnt eben make the list!!?!?!? I know a computer person down there and he knows his stuff. Apparently he's the only one working down there. And the have one old mac SE or somehting. Can you say DOS 3.3???

US News and World Report top colleges Wisconsin - #38 ND - #19

Wisconsin gets screwed because our Alumni dont give much. Of course we dont. Were too busy spending it on beer. We were ranked 116th and ND was ranked 3rd in gift dollars. So as you can see, ND BUYS its high ranking in this poll. If you take away their dollars, they are in the dumper. They were #3 in gifts but only #19 overall?????? What are they doing with the money? Oh thats right they are 1. Paying off lawsuits for unfairly firing people and 2. Paying their football players.

(Emory University was 9th in this pool. Does anybody even know where Emory U is? I know their mascot....The Emory Boards!!!!!)

Jeopardy College Tournament

Wisconsin - #35 ND - Again didnt make the top 100.

Emory U came in 96. So no ND person was able to crack into the finals? Maybe they should try someting a little easier like Family Feud? It shouldnt be hard to find a family since their mostly inbred around there anyway.

The Princeton Review's top party schools Wisconsin - #6 ND - Once again, not on the list.

It seems like ND is coming in as mediocre on all of these ratings. Why could that be? Maybe becasue they only score high on the ones they can BUY. Emory wasnt on there either but Emerson was and that also starts with an "E"

The Ultimate Frisbee Association rankings - Open Division Wisconsin - #5 ND - #27 ND is mired behind sporting powers such as UNC-Wilmington (11) Occidental (20) and Oberlin (22). I can see how those big boys from ND Fightin Irish can be intimidated by the Occidental Puppydogs.

Upon final analysis, I think its clear that Notre Dame cannot compete in any type of educational or sporting situation where money cannot buy success.

So while those Domers go around trying to buy a National Championship, I'll sit here in Madison knowing that in the end, our hard work will pay off because the only thing a Domer can truely buy is the hatred of the rest of the human race.

As a footnote I would like to point out that I do not consider Bill and Laura Sill to be members of the Notre Dame extended family. I feel that even though they are employed by ND, their hearts remain property of Buckingham J. Badger.